Confessions of Reverend, Part 2: The Beast is within us all

CopyRight Katie Yavuz March 2015
CopyRight Katie Yavuz March 2015

“The Beast is within us all”

Dear Dark Soul for I can not lie.

You consume me and bring forth an energy that no one can deny.

Consumed by anger, rage, the screaming that doesn’t desist.

When will you free yourself from me?

I Now persist!

When will the torment from within be cleared?

You attempt to bring forth loneliness

Madness, Rage; hating myself with obligations of rules…

I don’t want you, I can’t have you, but you make me cry.

I am light, I am evil, I am sane, I am love…

Why can’t you just leave me to live a life-A life of goodness, whole, perfect and complete?

Grr, I hate loosing my temper!

I hate my self hate, self condemnation, self sabotage and beyond!

I cry for my children when the gripping of screams and temperament can’t be held at bay.

I cry for how horrible I feel when I can’t just not control my voice, my words and I hurt others with vicious words.

I want to be love and give love and I do most all the time.

Why is it that I am human have these not so wonderful experiences?

Why is it that I can’t love me when I view myself as unholy, unworthy of forgiveness?

Why is separation from God the only way I can calibrate and understand the truth to my walk?

Why must I be tempered when I don’t receive the full respect of requests…

Or, do I give demands and the others rebell?

Oh, yes.  I give orders and they do rebell.

So my dear loves, when I loose my temper and rage comes out from the loving lips that I kiss you with…please know it’s a human expression- a freedom I must just let go.

For I am not perfect, nor is anyone I know.  For even Christ himself slept with Mary Magdalene a sinner of us all.

©Katie Yavuz Aug 2015

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